Creativity

I’m telling you. God is amazing. Jesus is real and He does not leave us. This morning I was struggling with why I wasn’t forcing the need to go to church. Tim wasn’t feeling good but I usually go anyway. This morning I felt I needed to stay home. I’m not advocating NOT going to church. Church is very important. I don’t normally feel guilt anymore. Not since I found GRACE have I felt a burden of guilt but I kinda felt it lurking in the background of my heart this morning just questioning me. “Are you not as close to God as you normally feel Shannon? Is that why you don’t want to go on to church?” No. That’s not it I decided. God is ever near me. I’m not running or hiding. I want Him to be so close I don’t have to reach out to Him. I want Him so close that He’s just right here with me and I have no doubt. I spend time with Him and I seek His will for my life and every moment. No. I’m close to Him and He’s closer yet to me. So what is going on? “Is it the new church you attend Shannon? Do you not feel like you fit in or that you should be there?” No. I don’t judge a place for worshiping on me or the people there. If the word of God is right and true and God has lead me to that place then I can and will worship there. I already love the people at my church. I see such Gems, precious believers. No. That definitely wasn’t it. Something much deeper was going on here. I lay down on the couch and relaxed. Tim was resting on the other side. I didn’t do anything. I lay there in the quiet feeling the sunshine on my face. It was beautiful and peaceful. I decided that God understood what was going on even if I didn’t and I left it with Him. I prayed. I accepted that He had this. Eventually I fell asleep for a time. It was really quite beautiful. I don’t rest much. I sleep hard and fast and jump right back up to work most of the time. Just slowing down for a moment was nice. Real nice. When I woke up a short time later, I fixed us food and checked my phone. Texted my daughter and my best friend and then washed a few dishes and sat back down to skim Facebook.
I randomly saw in the newsfeed on Facebook a link to an online course about “Becoming – The Unfolding of You”. I wasn’t even sure why I clicked it. The gal that posted about it said some beautiful things but like I have time to do anything much more than I’m doing. Even as I clicked it, I thought that if it costs I can’t do it. There’s no way. I had to know what it was though. I was driven.
I loved what I saw right away. Art. I’m so about the art. The writing. The Photography. The Love of our Lord. I saw all of that right off the bat. Then I saw it was free. Most of her series are not but this one was because she knew the Lord had said for it to be. Tears came immediately to my eyes. God had thought of me and all the other folks who did not have large incomes. I was reminded instantly of how God has handed me every blessing and ability to be a photographer and still eat. Then I saw a verse that God had been giving me over and over these past 2 weeks. The same verse that I posted with these words from Jeanne Oliver’s “Becoming” post. I knew instantly I was supposed to be here and that God had lead me to this moment for a reason. I’m only just getting into it. I can’t begin to tell you what it’s all about but the miracle that I stumbled on this (actually was lead and directed to this) course is just heart bursting and faith building. I am in total tears even as I write this. God is so good to me. Jesus gets me.
I feel so alone. Word. I know God is with me and I know there are believers all around me. I thank God for that, for them. We live in bubbles though and there isn’t much freedom in bubbles. You go too far to the side and you could shatter everything. So you stay the course because you know your suppose too and because you don’t want to hurt anyone and truly love people. It takes strength and courage most would think but really it just takes a strong grasp on the Lord and a strong knowledge that the Lord loves you and that you’re His. You know the difference in right and wrong and you know you don’t want to break people. You want to build them up. Period. While you are in that state you realize you need something deeper in this physical world though. I realize that need to be fed. I need more than just me in my normal days to lift me up in the spirit. God knew that. I had no idea that there were even courses out there like this. Jeanne Oliver’s website looks amazing. I had no idea that photographers could do things like this with their talent and time. It hadn’t crossed my mind. I’m so excited that I could dance lol. I’m so excited to delve into this and see what it’s all about. God is opening my eyes to other ways to use my talents here as well. That is phenomenal. Something to feed my spirit and something to grow me as an artist which I’ve been begging for. Amazing. He’s just amazing. HE confirms that He hears me constantly and this was just one more way He confirmed this. He also shows me that He places these desires in me to begin with. If He places it there, won’t He fulfill it in me? Of course He will. I don’t have to be afraid of not accomplishing His will. Ever. He leads me. Isn’t that crazy amazing GREAT!? Just beautiful. I’m so excited. SO EXCITED!